What happens if your child has already been arrested?

What Not To Do

1. Do not go through the juvenile justice system without a lawyer.
2. Do not be afraid of the stigma of having a troubled teen, and avoid the issue.  You have a real problem that needs to be addressed and dealt with.
3. Don’t ever think that you don’t need a lawyer!

To Do

1. If you don’t want your child in the legal system, call a bondsman, and get him/her out of jail as soon as possible. This may be especially important if your child is on medication.  Jail is not equipped to handle kids on meds.
2. Contact a Criminal Defense Attorney.  There are many kinds of attorneys, who specialize in different areas of legal expertise.  Be sure you have a Criminal Defense Attorney.
3. Trust is important, and you will need to develop a relationship with your attorney.  Choose the lawyer that is right for you.  Interview more than one attorney before you decide.
4. Do not rush to make a decision, and make a plea just to end the process.  Remember, this is a government system and everything will take time.

Paul Damico

Criminal Defense Attorney

The Woodlands, Texas

www.jpay.com

http://www.cornerstonerecovery.org/knowledge/

If it has been less than 24 hours
Phone:
Phone friends, friends’ parents, and friends of friends. This is no time to kick yourself for not confiscating your teen’s phone or insisting in the past that you have contact information for friends (go to worksheets and download Contact List). Right now you must get information. If you have no contact information then phone the school. They will have a directory and once you explain your situation they may help you locate kids your child hangs out with. Phone their parents. School administrators may even pull kids out of class to question them. Kids are not very good at keeping secrets so it is likely one child will have some idea where your child is, where they were last, or who they were with. If you have your child’s phone, then send a text to everyone in her phonebook saying, “Suzy is missing. Please contact (your number) if you have any information about her. If you are hiding her understand that you are committing a crime and we will press charges.” You are NOT overreacting. You are trying to find your child.

The Police:
By running away, your teen is committing a crime (at least in the jurisdictions we are aware of). Results from calling the police before 24 hours has passed will depend on the town, the age of your child*, and your child’s history of running away. Regardless, we recommend that you contact the police immediately. We recommend this for three reasons. First and foremost the safety of your child; getting a large number of resources mobilized quickly will give you the greatest chance of finding your child quickly. Second, it protects you. If you do not report your child as a runaway then you may be found negligent or a party to your child’s criminal act (running away). Finally, when you find your teen, you may need help. Teens who are angry and trying their best not to be found may run when they see mom or dad looking. If this happens, the police are an excellent resource to corral your teen. The police will need a photograph so locate a recent photograph of your child and be prepared to describe what she was wearing that day. Download “My Child’s Information” from Worksheets and Forms and this will help you organize your thoughts for the police as well as for yourself. You are scared and anxious right now so it will be helpful to write things down so you don’t forget.

*In many jurisdictions police may be reluctant to dedicate resources to teen runaways 17 years of age and older. Please check with your local law enforcement to be sure.

Dr. Kate Walker, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT
AchieveBalance.org

Define the problem
Many parents get stuck here. We are far from the days of Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No,” campaign; however, society sends mixed messages about drug and alcohol use. Parents wonder if it’s okay to set a boundary when they themselves have a drug or alcohol problem. Perhaps they’ve heard from their friends or a therapist that a little experimentation is okay. And of course, there is the hope that it was only this ‘one time’ and your child does not have a problem. Here is what the experts say (from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 4th edition):

Substance Abuse
Substance dependence is defined as a maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress as manifested by one (or more) of the following, occurring within a 12-month period:

1. Recurrent substance use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home (such as repeated absences or poor work performance related to substance use; substance-related absences, suspensions, or expulsions from school; or neglect of children or household).
2. Recurrent substance use in situations in which it is physically hazardous (such as driving an automobile or operating a machine when impaired by substance use)
3. Recurrent substance-related legal problems (such as arrests for substance related disorderly conduct)
4. Continued substance use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of the substance (for example, arguments with spouse about consequences of intoxication and physical fights).

Alternatively, the symptoms have never met the criteria for substance dependence for this class of substance.

Substance Dependence
Addiction (termed substance dependence by the American Psychiatric Association) is defined as a maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring any time in the same 12-month period:

1. Tolerance, as defined by either of the following:
   (a) A need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or the desired effect
   or
   (b) Markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of the substance.
2. Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following:
   (a) The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance
   or
   (b) The same (or closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.
3. The substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than intended.
4. There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use.
5. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance, use the substance, or recover from its effects.
6. Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use.
7. The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance (for example, current cocaine use despite recognition of cocaine-induced depression or continued drinking despite recognition that an ulcer was made worse by alcohol consumption).

You know that drugs and alcohol are bad for your teen physically, and you’ve read the definitions, but you still aren’t sure your teen’s drinking or drug use is a problem. This may help:
Teenage drinking and drug use is illegal
Allowing a teen to drink or use drugs is also illegal.

Dr. Kate Walker, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT
AchieveBalance.org

Contact the police
Your teen has either committed a crime, has been mistaken for someone who has committed a crime, or has associated with others who have committed a crime (the wrong place at the wrong time). Regardless, we recommend that you contact the police immediately. You will be given the name of the arresting officer or the detective in charge of the crime. He or she will be able to give you information about your child’s offense, where your child is being held, and when your child’s court date will be.

A Lawyer
If your teen has gotten before, you may be facing a complex set of laws and consequences. We advise that you contact a legal professional to help you navigate the judicial system. If you lack the funds to provide your teen with an attorney, one may be provided for you.

Go to the court dates
This may seem like a simple recommendation, but it is important. Remember, when your teen is arrested, in a way, so are you. If you fail to make court appearances with your child, your assigned judge may enforce consequences against you.

Comply with all consequences
After your child attends court it is important that you and your child comply with all edicts prescribed by the judge. Some that may be applied are: community service, visits with a probation officer, individual or group therapy, or classes to address anger or other behaviors.

Dr. Kate Walker, Ph.D, LPC, LMFT
AchieveBalance.org

Get Help
By drinking or taking drugs, your teen is committing a crime so you must get her help immediately. Teens who are angry may deny they have a problem or offer any number of excuses and justifications for their use. It is important that you get help from a specialist who deals with drug and alcohol abuse or find a program that is designed for teens who use. You must contact your child’s friends’ parents and let them know you have caught your child using. This is important not only so you can be a good neighbor and give them a heads up that drugs and alcohol have entered the picture; it is also a way for you to judge their reactions and their philosophy about drinking and drug use. If you don’t have contact information for your teen’s friends’ parents then Download My Teen’s Friend List from ‘Worksheets and Forms’ and this will help you organize your thoughts.
Some special programs you should consider are:

Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor
Addictions counseling is a form of mental health counseling that specializes in understanding the addictive process as well as the impact of addiction on the client, family and society. The requirements to become a chemical dependency specialist differ according to state but all counselors who hold this endorsement must be able to recognize the potential for substance use disorders and behavioral addictions to mimic a variety of medical and psychological disorders. In addition, the addictions counselor recognizes the potential for medical and psychological disorders to co-exist with addiction (called a dual diagnosis). In many states counselors and therapists who are not chemical dependency certified/licensed are able to treat individuals who are using drugs and alcohol; however they cannot display the chemical dependency credential without the special training. These services may or may not be covered by insurance. Go to ‘Worksheets and Forms’ to download a sample Letter of Medical Necessity (LOMN) you can send to your insurance company if they try to deny coverage.

Alternative Peer Group (APG)
This little known treatment modality may be highly effective in not only helping your child, but also helping you and your entire family. The groups vary from region to region but the basic philosophy is the same: Immerse the teen in a peer group of healthy teens in recovery. The most effective groups we know of also immerse the parents in a group of healthy parents in recovery. This dual support helps parents stick to rules and consequences that aid the teen in his recovery as well as provide the teen with daily therapeutic intervention and social activities that are drug and alcohol free. Some good ones we know of are:

Cornerstone Recovery www.cornerstonerecovery.org
Palmer Drug and Alcohol Program

Intensive Outpatient (IOP) and Residential Treatment (RTC).
When Counseling and APG groups are not working to stop your teen from using, you may need the help of an IOP or residential treatment center.
An IOP is considered to be an intermediate level of intervention. Teens attend a group 2 to 5 times a week (depending on the structure of the program) for 2 to 3 hours at a time. Teens may receive one on one counseling, group counseling, as well as participate in community activities. A licensed clinician generally leads the groups. An IOP can also be a step-down treatment from a residential treatment program and can help with the transition back into the home.
Residential treatment (RTC) refers to the extended stay facilities with intensive services but that are less intensive that inpatient facilities such as hospitals. Teens stay at residential facilities that treat their addiction and promote their movement towards independence. Residential treatment stays can range from a few weeks to several months.

A Word About Insurance
Insurance will generally cover more intense services if you have exhausted ‘lower levels of care.’ What this means is, many insurance companies don’t want residential treatment to be your first intervention and may deny your claim (Go to Worksheets and Forms to download a sample letter you can send to your insurance company if they try to deny coverage). If at all possible, seek help from a counselor or APG first, then move to the IOP and residential treatment options. Of course if your teen is in crisis, go to your nearest emergency room and let the insurance company sort it out later.

Dr. Kate Walker, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT
AchieveBalance.org

My Space/Facebook
If you have your child’s social networking account username and password then login to their page and post in LARGE letters, “THIS IS SUZY’S MOTHER. SUZY IS MISSING. WE ARE VERY WORRIED ABOUT HER. PLEASE CONTACT (YOUR CONTACT INFO) IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION. IF YOU ARE HIDING HER OR HELPING HER UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE COMMITTING A CRIME AND WE WILL PRESS CHARGES.” Again, this is not the time to kick yourself for trusting your teen and not requiring her to give you her password. We are betting on the fact that teenagers are not good at keeping secrets and very few of them want to be in trouble so it is likely you will get some information from this tactic.

Get in the car and look
Go to the favorite skate park, the store where she hangs out with her friends, the mall, the woods. Enlist your neighbors and family if they live close by. You may be embarrassed by your child’s behavior but you will find the more help you have now, the more eyes you will have later.

24 hours and still no word
If you still have not heard from your teen after 24 hours and you have not called the police, stop reading this, pick up the phone, and call. We’ll wait.
Don’t stop doing the above steps. Keep phoning individuals, checking the school, calling the detective in charge of your case, driving, and searching. Post photos of your child on light posts and hang out in the places your teen used to go. Stay aggressive.

Bring in national resources
With the advent of the Internet, social networking sites, and texting sometimes teens can make contacts in other states. If your teen has an allowance or has saved money then she can easily purchase a ticket on public transportation to other states. If this is the case you will find it is difficult to navigate the laws and jurisdictions in other states. A teen on the run across state lines is committing a crime and you need national resources that can disseminate and receive information quickly and efficiently. We recommend

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PublicHomeServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US

National Runaway Hotline

http://www.nrscrisisline.org/

Dr. Kate Walker, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT
AchieveBalance.org